When to Pick a Name?

Q: Why do some Jewish folks refuse to discuss names of children before they are born?

A:  There are some who will also not set up a crib, wallpaper the babies room or even buy diapers in advance.

The actual reason why many refuse to make overt preparations for a child’s arrival is not attributable to one single source.

For the superstitious, discussing the child’s name or getting ready for the birth is tantamount to inviting disaster. Any discussion of a positive event might invite the evil eye or spirits, which might bring disaster to the anticipated event. As Joshua Trachtenberg observes, “the essential character things and of man resides in their names. Therefore, to know a name is to be privy to the secret of its owners being and a master of his fate.”

There is another, more rational, explanation for refraining from advanced planning. As one can never know the state of health or life of an unborn child, assuming that all will be well may create an extraordinarily painful time if events do not turn out as expected.  Scientific tests of ultrasound or amniocentesis are liable to be misleading. At best, they cannot foretell what will occur to the child following birth.

To make elaborate preparations for a child’s entry into the world may be creating an atmosphere that can shatter the couple’s life afterward. And empty crib can be devastating.

Names

Q: Why are some Hebrew names seemingly always joined together, like Dov-Baer or Arye-Leib?

A: Many times names are linked because they share a similarity of meaning.  In the first example cited, “Dov” is Hebrew for ‘bear.”  The second name, Arye, means “lion” and Leib means “heart.”  Throughout history the two names -- lion and heart --are connected (think of f Richard the Lionhearted).

When father Jacob blesses his son Judah he compares Judah to a lion.  It is therefore not surprising to also see names like Yehuda (Judah) Leib or Yehuda Arye Leib.

Another interesting linkage is Alexander Sender.  These names go together often because Sender is a diminutive form of Alexander.  Menachem Mendel is the same.  Mendel is a shortened version of Menachem.

MiSheberach

Q: Why do we always use the Hebrew name of the mother of a Jewish person who is ill when praying for their recovery?
A: There are several levels to this question.
1. It is assumed that the mother has the greatest compassion and concern for the welfare of her children.
2. We have no doubts about the identity of the mother since she gave birth to the child and that relationship is more certain than that of the father.
3. The anger of a mother is usually temporary, passing.  If the Holy One is angry at the afflicted person, we pray that God's anger will soon dissipate like the mother's.