Food on a Yahrzeit

Q: Why do some people serve refreshments in the Synagogue on the yahrzeit of their parent?

A: This custom is becoming less and less practiced among our people.  Yet it is an old and staid part of our tradition.  Two reasons are given for supplying food on the yahrzeit.  They are:

1.     It is an act of tzedaka.  And as is well known among our people, "tzedaka saves from death.”

2.     People say berachot over the food.  Thus the sponsor brings about praise to God at the memory of the deceased.

Yahrzeit

Q: Why do we observe the anniversary of the death of parents (yahrzeit) each year?

A: There are a few reasons why we recall our dead on their yahrzeit.  The most obvious of them is the idea of remembrance.  The yahrzeit forces us to remember their life, going over our moments spent together.  We recall the things they gave to us – life, education, clothes, morals….

A lesser-known reason for the yahrzeit rests on the belief that the souls of the dead are judged by the Heavenly Tribunal.  As their souls come before judgment, they are either permitted to ascend or are denied.

Children of the deceased thus pray for their loved ones.  The living can acquit the dead.

On the yahrzeit we vow to undertake acts of tzedaka on their behalf.  If one believes in memory as the primary motivating factor behind prayers, then tzedaka is practicing the morals the dead taught us.  As their soul so judged our charity pleads to tip the scales in their favor.

Can anyone receive and aliya?

Q:  Can any Jew receive an aliya?

A: Jews who have gone the wrong way in the eyes of Jewish law are not forbidden by halacha from being called up to the Torah.  A sinner can be given and given an aliya (after all, who among us is free sin?).

The particular sin, or crime, may have some bearing on the merit of a person being honored with an aliya. For example, public larceny is so much harder to ignore then a private misdemeanor. In some communities, those who have been found guilty of a crime would be barred from ascending the bima.  Who’s who had participated in an overt negative Jewish behavior which simile be disbarred from an aliya as a protest against such behavior, such as an adulterer, one who has deliberately strayed from their roots, or a person it was publicly gone against the teachings of Judaism.

However, once a person has been accepted as a member of a community it would be a “shame” to not call such an individual up for an aliya when they are observing a yahrzeit.

Yahrzeit

Q: What are the origins of the yahrzeit?

A: As is contained in the word itself, “yahr” means year and “zeit” means time.  Yahrzeit therefore literally means “time of year.”  More specifically, it indicates the anniversary of the death of one’s parents or immediate relatives.

One theory is that word yahrzeit began to be used around 1400 in Germany.   However the practice to remembering the dead is much older.  For example, for almost 2,000 years Jews have been observing Lag B’Omer as the yahrzeit of a famous rabbi, Shimon Bar Yohai, who died on that date. 

Today we recall our dead by lighting a 24 hour candle, called a yahrzeit lamp, saying Kaddish on the appointed date in synagogue and having the privilege of an aliyah at services to commemorate their life.